How to Calm Your Nervous System (So You Can Feel Like Yourself Again)

Let me ask you something:  

When was the last time your body truly felt calm? 

Not “I had a glass of wine” calm.

Not “I made it through the day without screaming at anyone” calm. 

I’m talking deep-in-your-bones, peaceful-exhale, parasympathetic-nervous-system calm. 

Can’t remember? Yeah, I feel ya! 

If you’re in midlife and feel like your body is stuck in overdrive—wired but tired, anxious for no reason, reactive, irritable, or just plain exhausted—you’re not alone. Many of the women I work with are walking around in a state of chronic nervous system dysregulation. And the truth is, until we address this, no amount of supplements or hormones will move the needle the way you want. 

Let’s dig into what’s really going on—and what you can do to bring your nervous system back into balance. 

First, Let’s Talk About the Boss: Your Nervous System 

Your nervous system is the command center of your body. It’s constantly scanning for safety (or danger) and responding accordingly through two main pathways: 

Sympathetic Nervous System

This is your “fight or flight” mode. It’s great for short bursts of stress—like slamming on the brakes or giving a big presentation—but it’s not meant to be your default setting. 

Parasympathetic Nervous System

This is your “rest and digest” mode. It’s where healing, hormone balance, and restoration happen. 

The problem? Many women in midlife are stuck in sympathetic overdrive. This can happen for years, especially when we’re juggling careers, caregiving, aging parents, relationship changes, and our own shifting hormones. It’s no wonder the body starts to break down. 

Chronic Stress = Adrenal Dysfunction 

Your adrenal glands—two little powerhouses that we discussed a couple of weeks ago, sit above your kidneys—are in charge of pumping out cortisol, your primary stress hormone. In the beginning, when stress ramps up, so does cortisol. But over time, your system can’t keep up. You crash. 

This is what’s often referred to as HPA axis dysfunction, sometimes called “adrenal fatigue” (even though the adrenals don’t technically get tired). Symptoms include: 

• Fatigue (especially in the morning) 
• Anxiety or a “tired but wired” feeling 
• Sleep disturbances 
• Cravings for sugar or salt 
• Hormone imbalances 
• Brain fog and memory issues

If this sounds familiar, it’s your nervous system waving a white flag. 

How to Calm Your Nervous System (Without Quitting Your Life) 

The good news? Your nervous system wants to come back into balance. And you don’t have to move to a monastery to get there. Here’s what works: 

Prioritize Deep Rest 

Sleep is not a luxury—it’s the foundation. Aim for 7–9 hours per night in a cool, dark room. If you’re waking up between 2–4 a.m., it might be a cortisol spike. Supporting your blood sugar and stress hormones in the evening can help (think: protein-rich snacks and magnesium glycinate). 

💤 Pro tip: Practice yoga nidra or non-sleep deep rest (NSDR) during the day to retrain your body’s ability to drop into parasympathetic mode. 

Breathe Like It Matters 

You don’t need a fancy meditation app to calm your system—your breath is always with you. Try box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4) or extended exhales (inhale 4, exhale 8). These tell your brain: We’re safe. 

Just 3-5 minutes a few times a day can rewire your stress response. 

Eat for Blood Sugar Stability 

Blood sugar rollercoasters = cortisol rollercoasters. Focus on protein-rich meals every 4–5 hours, limit refined carbs, and don’t skip meals (especially breakfast!). A well-fed body is a less reactive body. If you’re doing intermittent fasting and you’re having mid-night wake ups, the IF may be your problem (sorry). 

Nervous System Nourishers 

Magnesium, B vitamins, and adaptogenic herbs like ashwagandha or rhodiola can support your HPA axis, especially when paired with lifestyle changes. But don’t self-diagnose—this is where testing and personalization really matter. 

Watch Your Stimulus Diet 

Your nervous system doesn’t just digest food—it digests stimuli. That means toxic people, chaotic environments, constant notifications, and doom-scrolling all count. Audit your inputs. Choose calm. 

Move Gently, Especially If You’re Fried

If you’re already burnt out, Crossfit, Orange Theory or other intense workouts may be adding fuel to the fire. Try gentle movement: walking, stretching, Pilates, or strength training that doesn’t spike cortisol. Your body doesn’t need punishment. It needs restoration. 

Create “Safety Signals” 

Your nervous system is always asking: Am I safe?

Small rituals send a big message. Think warm baths, hugs, journaling, grounding your feet in the grass, or five minutes with your dog. These moments matter more than you think. 

You Can’t Heal in a State of Survival 

If you’re trying to “push through” while your nervous system is screaming for help, you’re not going to get the results you want—from your workouts, your hormones, your career, or your relationships. Healing starts with safety. 

And safety starts with regulation. 

If you’re ready to stop living in stress mode and start rebuilding from the inside out, this is exactly the kind of work I do with my clients. Together, we uncover the hidden stressors, run targeted testing, and create a personalized plan for true nervous system recovery. 

Because midlife doesn’t have to be the breakdown.

It can be the breakthrough! 

References 

• Tsigos, C., & Chrousos, G. P. (2002). Hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis, neuroendocrine factors and stress. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 53(4), 865-871. 
• McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873-904. 
• Goyal, M., Singh, S., Sibinga, E. M., et al. (2014). Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: a systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA Internal Medicine, 174(3), 357–368. 
• Lustig, R. H. (2013). Fat Chance: Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease. Penguin Books. 
• Chrousos, G. P. (2009). Stress and disorders of the stress system. Nature Reviews Endocrinology, 5(7), 374–381.